Is your grown child still living with you? You’re not alone. It’s becoming increasingly common for adult children to live with their parents, with reasons varying from rising rent costs to expensive tertiary education.
Some parents are over the moon to have their son or daughter stick around. Others feel it throws a spanner in the works for their post-kid plans.
Perhaps you were hoping to downsize from the family home. Maybe you were looking forward to some time to focus on yourself. Or maybe you’d just like to hold the remote every once in a while!
If you’re looking to encourage your child to become more independent by moving out of home, these steps will help you give them the supportive little nudge they need.
Determine the Reasons Why You’d Like Your Child to Move Out
Make a list of the reasons why you’d like your child to move out. Maybe they haven’t been pulling their weight and it’s time they learned to be self-sufficient. Or are you looking to move into a smaller home with less upkeep, perhaps? Listing the reasons will help you prepare yourself for the conversation.
It’s also important to ensure your partner is on the same page so you can show a united front.
Have a Date in Mind
Asking your child to move out without a deadline can lead to tension and discomfort. They might assume you’d like them to make a move within a year when you actually had the end of next month in mind.
Setting a clear date will ensure you’re both on the same page and prevent misunderstandings. Just remember to be fair and realistic with your date.
Hear Them Out
When you approach your child with your reasons, be sure to give them a chance to share their feelings. Chances are they’d like to move out but might have some obstacles holding them back. Listen to their reasons for still living at home so you can help them feel confident about living independently.
Help Them Make a Plan
Help your child analyse their reasons for living at home and come up with a realistic course of action to overcome them. For example, if they ‘can’t afford it’, maybe they need to rethink their expectations, look for smaller units or share-houses with friends, and set a stricter budget.
If your child is physically and mentally capable of living independently, there will almost always be a solution to get over the barriers keeping them at home.
Help Them with the Move
Offer your support with the moving process. Accompany them to inspections, assist with packing boxes, and help them make a list of all the essentials they’ll need when they move out. You might even like to buy them a few bits and bobs* to help them get started.
*Toilet paper, a kettle, and a frying pan won’t go astray. Chocolate is also encouraged.
It’s normal to feel a mixture of emotions when your child moves out. While you might be excited about the newfound freedom, you may also be feeling sad or even a bit guilty to see them go.
By staying involved in their life, visiting their new home, inviting them over for dinner, and keeping in touch over the phone, you can help make the change easier on both of you.
If your adult child needs more of a push than a nudge, try these not-so-subtle hints to get them to move out of home.
And if your child moves back in? We’ve got you covered with this helpful article for making your cohabitation a more positive experience. Otherwise here are some helpful tips if you’re left with your kids left over items.
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